Vintage Liquor
Posted at: 2009-06-09 01:43:45
Original ad:
Collector looking for vintage scotch, rum, cognac, bourbon, etc. Willing to pay top dollar for fine bottles.
From Timmy Tucker to **********@**********.org
Hey there! I saw your ad on ********** and have some "vintage" liquor you may be interested in.
I have about half a handle of Captain Morgan's Rum, a rare vintage rum from the Caribbean. I bought this at a liquor store on Long Island in 2007, and believe that its taste has really aged to perfection. I am willing to sell this for $300.
I also have a very rare bottle of Aristocrat Tequila. You can taste the fine vintage in every sip. I acquired it from a friend who says he bought it at a liquor store in Baltimore in 2005. You can really taste that southern atmosphere in this one! Due to its rarity, I will sell this for $500.
Also, if you are interested, I have about half a case of vintage Natural Ice beer. It was acquired from a frat party I was at about a month ago. This frat has a very old history with Syracuse, and that history came with the beer. It doesn't get much more vintage than this. I will part with this at $50 per can.
I really hate to see this stuff go, but after my third DUI, the court ordered me to do a program that involves me staying sober, so I think it is best that I part with this rare liquor.
Please let me know if you are interested. I have several other buyers lined up, so I will need to know very soon.
Thanks,
Tim
From Evan ******* to Me
Tim,
You must be crazy to consider that bottom-end liquor "vintage." I am not interested and am insulted that you would even try to sell me such cheap liquor at such ridiculous prices.
Evan
From Timmy Tucker to Evan *******
Evan,
I am very disappointed that you are not interested in these vintage treasures. Every bottle and can I sell comes with priceless historic value. Please reconsider, because I don't think you will find an offer like this anywhere else.
- Tim
From Evan ******* to Me
Are you nuts? You want to sell me beer you stole from a frat, that is a month old, for $50 a can? I am NOT INTERESTED.
From Timmy Tucker to Evan *******
Evan,
I did not steal that beer, and I resent the accusation. Please reconsider purchasing this. I am a recovering alcoholic, and fear that I will drink again if I am unable to get rid of this booze. Please do not make me drink again!
Tim
From Evan ******* to Me
Why don't you just throw the booze away? You have problems, man.
From Timmy Tucker to Evan *******
WJKAJF EVAN U RUNED MY LIF. I DRNK ALL THE BOTTLE. U MADE ME CRSH MY CAR AND RUN AWAY NOW POLICE RJSGJKEW. WIFE IN HOSPTAL. i HATE U EVEN U DISTROY LIFE
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George (2014-02-27 11:33:15)
I lost it at the end
Donny "Faggot" Prehn (2014-01-13 12:32:49)
I am gay
db144dc @Hilarious (2013-12-01 12:15:50)
Really? So not finding this funny is equivalent to being homofuckingsexual? This was A LITTLE funny until the fail troll at the end.
notacop (2013-11-10 20:21:35)
so where is the frat party.
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Scotch Professional (2013-03-24 04:39:01)
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Glenmorangie Original 10yo - best selling single malt in Scotland
JBBB (2013-03-12 16:21:15)
You can taste the southern atmosphere in this one. Brilliant
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Man, some of these ads are hilarious. Then when I finish, I go to read the comments to see what everyone else thinks, and it's a total killjoy. Why do people even waste their time reading this, if they don't enjoy them?
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It wasn't funny until the last bit.
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