Kitten Rescue
Posted at: 2010-08-12 14:37:56
Warning: The following post contains graphic images. If you are offended by the sight of food-dye, corn syrup, and ground beef, you may not want to read this.
Original ad:
Humane "hav a heart" traps for kittens needed
There are some kittens in my neighborhood that need to find good homes. I need a trap 4 the cats to help bring them in. Please email me if you have a trap (and a heart)!
From Me to *********@********.org:
Hello,
Are you still looking for a trap for cats?
Mike
From Deb ******* to Me:
Yes I am can you help me?
From Me to Deb *******:
I most certainly can! I believe this trap is for those who want to "have a heart." I used it to catch a stray cat that kept coming into my garage. It is called the KittyHugger. All you have to do is put some cat food on the trigger, and when the cat comes to eat it, the trap gently contracts into a hugging position and comfortably hugs the cat until you come back to deal with the little guy. Please let me know if this will work.
Mike
From Deb ******* to Me:
Mike- I have never heard of a trap like that. I was referring to the "Havahart" traps...you know like the cages for animals?? Do you have any pictures of the trap? I'd like to see how it works before I get it. Thanks.
From Me to Deb *******:
Absolutely. I've attached a picture of it. Sorry if it is a little messy; I haven't cleaned the trap in a while.
Attachment:
From Deb ******* to Me:
YOU'RE SICK!
From Me to Deb *******:
Excuse me?
From Deb ******* to Me:
You killed that poor cat OMG
From Me to Deb *******:
I didn't kill the cat. I told you it was a little messy. The last cat I caught knocked over the bowl of juice I gave him so he wouldn't get thirsty. As you can see, it made quite the mess. I assure you this trap is 100% safe and humane.
From Deb ******* to Me:
IT OBVIOUSLY IS NOT SAFE. IT IS COVERED IN BLOOD
From Me to Deb *******:
You've clearly never seen a juice spill before. You have a twisted imagination if you think that is blood. I guess you don't want the trap.
Before you give up on me, I have one more trap you may be interested in. I actually think it is one of those Have a Heart traps you were talking about, though I've never heard it called that.
Please see the attachments. As you can see from the pictures, the kitty will have plenty of room to be safe and comfortable. It comes with a black tube at the end that is used to pump warm air into the cage to keep him warm while he waits to be released.
I'm sorry I didn't have time to clean the trap. It is still a little messy because the last cat I had in there spilled his bowl of juice and his cat food. It went everywhere!
Mike
Attachment:
From Deb ******* to Me:
Wow can't you read the ad you sick jerk? I DON'T WANT TO KILL THEM
How you managed to turn that trap into a bloody mess is a mystery to me but keep the hell away from me!!! 
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Person (2013-08-07 23:36:43)
Jesus, Deb. He said it was juice. How does it look like blood and guts?
anonymous (2013-07-29 04:46:53)
anyone notice the "black tube" looks very similar to a shotgun?
Scut Stoole (2013-07-15 21:44:29)
site is for funny joke. what wrong with people to think this real?? none too smart. why you here?
Deb (2013-07-07 16:28:51)
Literally laughed until I cried...
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NEVER laughed so hard at a written article!!
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I'm a cat lover, and found this hilarious. XD
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READ THE TOP (2013-05-04 22:30:14)
"Warning: The following post contains graphic images. If you are offended by the sight of food-dye, corn syrup, and ground beef, you may not want to read this."
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anonymous (2013-04-24 01:24:10)
you are deeply confused and pathetic. A total coward who doesn't have the balls to stand up to living thing his own size so attacks small animals. You are a pathetic guy who obviously has a very small cock
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anonymous (2013-02-12 10:57:48)
Anybody else notice the shotgun in the last picture lmao
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OMG!! I cannot believe all those people here who think there were some real dead cats, including Deb. You are sad. Go out more often.
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Shitbrix (2013-01-15 07:39:39)
People, before you comment please READ he did NOT kill any animals, he's just a very creative troll that likes to fuck with stupid people. PLease, yse your heads! :)
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Slarti (2013-01-11 03:28:16)
Wow, that sawn off certainly can pump in sum warm air...
Ryan (2012-12-25 23:14:38)
This is the first one where I laughed at the ad itself :)
Ceru (2012-12-19 11:39:34)
Does no one else notice that "cute kitteh :3" "california giiirrrrl :3" California kitteh :3" are all the same person? They frequently comment on many of his, and are just trolling to get a rise out of you with poor spelling and gramma
@My god (2012-12-12 11:39:34)
Don't be stupid, he used food dye!
anonymous (2012-12-10 19:46:51)
LOLS!"warm air tube" Also, isn't that second pic actually a "humane trap"? If so the person has no idea what they're looking for
My god (2012-12-03 16:21:46)
You sick man. How dare you kill a poor defensless animal for the images on this page. YOU ARE SICK
lolz (2012-11-29 15:36:18)
did nobody catch the black tube for warm air part? look in the second picture. I see a 12g hahaha.
Mikey P (2012-11-25 10:14:11)
Outstanding work... The very first thing read is a disclaimer and still people think you are destroying cats for comedy... And on top of that, what is there to show that it is a cat? Its just some chunks of meat with red stuff on them. Dogs and hampsters
@WtfDude 2012-06-23 (2012-11-23 00:47:11)
Thank you for doing it right. You stated a problem with it, and you didn't need to resort to all caps rage, empty threats against the website/article/creator, and to top it off you spelled each word correctly. Well done.
A Sane Individual (2012-11-23 00:44:11)
In case no one read the top, it stated that the "blood" was corn syrup, food dye, and ground beef. It also warned of graphic violence. So if you are unable to read the disclaimer you shouldn't read the article.
Omg! (2012-11-21 14:14:19)
For shame! I am calling Obama right now to report this site. While I know he is very busy with layoffs I think he will be concerned to know about the kittehz!
Deb (2012-11-19 15:58:39)
U sick i report u faggot
anonymous (2012-11-02 00:44:13)
omg this was funny as heck!! i love animals n still found this funny!
Gavin (2012-10-19 15:47:06)
The shotgun was an awesome touch.
Gavin (2012-10-19 15:46:27)
OMG, you are fucking brilliant. That pussy is on the rag, lol.
Really?! (2012-10-15 23:04:11)
Dear lady in the post below me, do you really think tht cats were killed for the picture? Or are you just making a funny joke? PETA is an evil organization anyway, they have funded the terrorist group afl in the past. This article was freaking hahalariou
Cutekitteh :3 (2012-10-15 11:04:26)
I ARE REPORTIGN THIS SIET RIGHT NOW TO THE PETA YOU SCUM THIS IS ARE NOT FUNNNY1!!1
@iHopeYouGuysRTrolls (2012-09-23 18:30:18)
I really hope you're not actually questioning the fact that those replies were just trolls. oh my god... where is humanity headed?
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iHopeYouGuysRTrolls (2012-08-29 13:21:39)
to the people who think Mike killed those cats: you're either retarded or just trolls. I hope you are trolls
THOSEPOORKITTYS (2012-08-24 10:08:11)
HOW COULD YOU MURDER THOSE POOR KITTYS? THAT IS SO SAD. I AM CALLING THE ASPCA RIGHT NOW AND REPORTING THIS WEBSITE.
anonymous (2012-08-19 17:26:18)
I see no one noticed the Shotgun in the last image.
angelina (2012-08-10 13:10:10)
WOW! This is like hilarious, but I feel so sorry for the poor cat...
reader (2012-07-30 20:15:47)
Why don't you guys just read everything? he didn't kill anything.
Cute kitteh Not Sure if troll or retarded.
ginad (2012-07-30 06:09:52)
OMG hilarious!!!!
cute kitteh :3 (2012-07-28 15:04:13)
Hre in califrnia we wud nevr do tht to cutw kittehs!!1 ur horrble!!!1
dardevil (2012-07-25 00:48:12)
is the warm tube a shotgun?
deputy98 (2012-07-22 07:36:25)
thanks for telling again about the props, I forget while laughing(smiling) onto this.
ghjkl (2012-07-20 11:35:44)
In case those who forget, the blood is food-dye.
anonymous (2012-07-11 16:24:53)
noobs
Ass Clown (2012-07-06 19:22:26)
Rofl
anonymous (2012-07-05 16:09:27)
"It comes with a black tube at the end that is used to pump warm air into the cage to keep him warm while he waits to be released." ROFL
Matt from Brooklyn (2012-06-23 13:51:17)
Ur a tool "wtfdude" a joke is a joke ... Go hug a tree this is hysterical ... Ud be one of these ppl that fall for these emails
WtfDude (2012-06-23 10:24:42)
I love your page, but killing animals is gross, even as a joke. This one wasn't funny like the others. Although you did successfully screw with that woman.
lol shotgun... (2012-06-15 05:43:22)
seriously? i've yet to see a shotgun fire a fuckin lapua round...look at the diameter of it...yea, i'll give ya a minute to ponder that...
shotgun, wtf (2012-06-11 14:18:41)
there is no shotgun, retards. its metallic conduit.
jewels (2012-05-30 13:28:45)
yes yes i agree with "J Dogg"
rotflmaocopter (2012-05-18 20:00:21)
Fools. Its a muffler in the first picture to poison them and a shottie on the second to blast the pest. To the idiots who think vehicles are the only device which have mufflers, go suck on one
Love it (2012-05-12 10:40:27)
He succeeded in trolling the people that visit this site, too. lol
HappyHateDay (2012-03-30 20:23:15)
hmm, corn syrup.
morons (2012-02-24 22:06:14)
Bitching about it the traps are real.....morons.
Stephan (2012-01-29 12:12:59)
there is no muffler thats a roll of something on the side and its very clearly a shotgun(in the second picture you can see the front sight and the forearm of the gun)
yomamasofatbiitch (2011-12-29 00:27:46)
lol he killed it thats obviously blood and a shit gun
Kyle (2011-12-05 20:24:35)
Dude it's a muffler. Download the pic and zoom in on it. You guys must shoot some fucked up shotguns
Shotgunner (2011-12-05 08:21:55)
Mikey, you are looking at the wrong thing. The two huge tubes (6 or 8") in the middle picture is not the shotgun. The shotgun is the black thing pointing towards the camera behind the trap in the last pic.
K (2011-12-04 19:23:38)
@kay. The tube is clearly a shotgun in te second pic.
kay (2011-12-02 14:11:11)
Um, I think the reason it might be a muffler, is that on fur farms the mink etc are sometimes killed by sending car exhaust fumes into their cages? That method is used because it would not damage their skins. Hence the 'warm air' comment.
Kman (2011-12-01 19:39:23)
LOOOL OMG THERE IS A CAT ADOPTING ON THE LEFT SIDE OF MY SCREEN HAHAHA
willy wonka (2011-11-27 16:22:31)
looks like a shot gun to me
Mikeyhasunicorns (2011-11-25 02:18:58)
Mikey you have succesfully trolled for unicorns.
America is shit now (2011-11-09 01:32:00)
Mikey (and every other muffler argument), you're a dumb cunt. If you don't know what a shotgun looks like, google it. That looks exactly like a shotgun because it is a shotgun. A muffler is significantly larger.
Hates Mikey (2011-11-06 01:18:50)
Hey mikey your fucking retarded.
Johnny Eyeball (2011-10-30 17:09:30)
No, it's a shotgun. Shut up.
Mikey (2011-10-27 23:33:52)
*video GAME
Mikey (2011-10-27 23:33:24)
Ummm, FYI, that IS a muffler. Obviously it's what "blows warm air into the cage", what shotgun other than a video has an entirely SQUARE receiver/stock? Plus those those "barrels" are too fucking big!
Rafael (2011-10-27 09:38:22)
LOL I didnt notice the shotgun hahaha
o/
Staan (2011-10-20 15:14:24)
THERE'S A FUCKING SHOTGUN!!!
CATS R FOR FAGS (2011-10-14 23:42:59)
IL BUY THEM
G.Suss (2011-10-09 14:14:37)
I love animals but this guy is fucking funny.Even funnier is that people take it seriously.
LMFAO (2011-09-24 10:51:21)
This is so darn funny xD also if "Deb" was thinking clearly when she saw the pictures she probably could have noticed the "blood" seemed quite off colour.
But still, the pieces of flesh around the cage..xD
Best one on da site (2011-09-16 06:20:23)
This one made me laugh harder than any other email on the entire site, the shotgun was hilarious
J Dogg (2011-09-09 15:51:38)
I'm disappointed that he went the route of claiming they were humane traps. He should have just played dumb and been like here is a trap, sorry I didn't clean it. And then been like oh I'm sorry I didn't know you didn't want to kill th
gibby (2011-09-08 09:05:55)
you're a fucking idiot if you think the last pic is a muffler. Look close and there are no tires dumbass, and you can see the stock on the shotgun.
Vinny (2011-09-08 02:17:40)
LOL the shot gun next to the cage makes it so much better!
Ica (2011-09-06 06:29:57)
Wow that person is stupid. It was a little shocking to see at first (mostly because I wasn't expecting a display like that), but a mere few seconds shows that that is clearly not blood
Way to assume, Deb
:D (2011-09-03 03:41:45)
Corn syrup, food dye and ground beef look amazing.
Yo (2011-09-01 20:06:49)
The 'muffler' - 'shotgun' debate...you are looking at two diff things. Shotgun is through the cage if you were looking end to end. the muffler is right next to the cage, looking through side to side.
Danielle (2011-08-31 22:01:26)
When can I pick these traps up? LMFAO!!
Xquiste (2011-08-25 14:58:13)
Love the shotgun :DD
Lol is an idiot (2011-08-25 04:27:07)
@ Lol you're a fucking moron. You need your eyes checked. It's a shotgun you fag bag.
Lol (2011-08-24 20:09:08)
If you zoom in on the last pic it is clearly a car muffler. The oval muffler bit has two round exhaust tips sticking out of it. Hence "blows warm air on the kitty"
Kenn (2011-08-24 00:58:43)
'black tube... that is used to pump warm air' XD obviously a shotgun in the third pic
I HATE CATS (2011-08-23 20:46:58)
If only these traps were real and i could use them on my neighbors dumbass cat that keeps shitting on my lawn.. :(
anonymous (2011-08-21 17:39:36)
a muffler from a car wow your a retard
Yes gun (2011-08-21 03:52:00)
It is a shotgun. And the *shells* of a 12 gauge shotgun are nearly 1/2 the size (in diameter) of a golfball.
Sad, really. Just two generations ago, everyone knew what a shotgun was...
No gun (2011-08-20 15:49:54)
If you think that is a gun, open your eyes!! The bullets must be the size of golf balls! Lol. It is a muffler from a car, and when he said it pumps warm air in the cage it would be carbon monoxide.
@anonymous (2011-08-12 00:51:31)
Its just some troll. It's not stolen.
anonymous (2011-08-08 11:52:45)
Anyone have a link to the stolen content? I've seen a couple of posts claiming the material was stolen and if so, I'll be done recommending this site to friends.
David Thorne (2011-08-06 14:21:56)
Yeah…thanks for stealing my material.
Anonymous (2011-08-02 04:47:26)
I love how on one of the pictures, a shotgun is pointed towards the cage.
wedding (2011-07-27 04:01:53)
good
Steven (2011-07-24 10:12:31)
I mean, I laughed, just like all the emails on the site, but I'm hoping it's not her. She barely has enough time to keep everything straight as it is. the cat i got from her is amazing, and she's a sweet woman.
Steven (2011-07-24 10:10:19)
if the name "deb" hasn't been changed then this could possibly be the woman i got my cat from. she owns a barn full of cats for adoption and is constantly working to save cats and adopt them out, all on her own time and mostly her own dime.
lmao (2011-07-21 17:57:18)
as soon as i saw the first pic, i lost it, i completely burst out laughing and everyone just stared at me.
H. farah (2011-07-21 07:12:30)
This absolutely made my day!!!whats with your cats and spilling juice all the damn time!!is that blood?no, no,its just juice!!ahahaha!epic denial fail!
Heather (2011-07-19 22:45:26)
Hahaha, that was friggin awesome. As a cat owner I say well done. Again!! :)
PS- for those of you who take this stuff too seriously, we may need to jimmy a "trap" for you geniuses (lol, sp?).
. (2011-07-17 23:18:06)
Hey Mike, epic fail.
Do you really read the pos that calls itself the New York Post?
The (2011-07-17 00:53:04)
I hate cats so damn much. There are a bunch of strays where i live and i kick the shit out of them when i throw out the trash. Love this one.
Amused, bemused (2011-07-16 18:56:54)
'keep the hell away from me!!!'
I love that 'Deb' is conducting a conversation with 'Mike' online yet she feels compelled to state 'keep the hell away from me!!!' as if 'Mike' is going to jump out of the cupboard
Dragonclaws (2011-07-16 03:23:14)
Whoever thinks that's blood, that's strawberries. This was staged. Fake. You can even see chunks of berry around the traps. :P
Kchan (2011-07-12 16:21:34)
I still would take the trap. It's just juice right? LOL
Clete (2011-07-10 08:49:35)
Of course there is a gun in 2 of the pictures....the shotgun barrel is visible in one, and he mentions it as the tube that blows warm air to keep kitty warm, and you can see the entire shotgun lying on the ground in the last picture. Visually impaired ?
obendicicaics (2011-07-07 14:28:59)
Click on the links below!
Eh (2011-07-05 07:08:49)
I love all your other stuff, its hilarious, but this is just kinda fucked!
Kitten Lo Mein (2011-07-04 00:53:21)
I bet there is a chinese restaurant that would want these traps.
N/A (2011-07-02 20:21:59)
@XD ....You obviously do not know what a gun looks like.. there is not one single gun in any of these pictures.
bigdog (2011-07-02 18:29:29)
you are a genius...
Mary (2011-07-01 21:41:59)
Okay, your other stuff is really funny, but this just made me sad. :/ I love kittens, and even though these traps are obviously unrealistic, it breaks my heart that anyone would even consider this.
XD (2011-06-27 19:56:07)
And there's a goddamn gun behind the cage in the last pic!
Sameer (2011-06-27 03:42:36)
good stuff Mike, if that really is your name.
iminyourbed (2011-06-26 09:43:32)
THANKS FOR TELLING ME HOW TO MAKE FAKE GORE!
superbanana (2011-06-25 04:56:32)
this is incredibly hilarious
bootyquake (2011-06-19 18:59:25)
I'm not sure if your emails, or the comments people leave are more funny. It's almost amazing how deeply some people care about what others say on the internet, and how they feel the need to endlessly defend themselves.
ima smack you (2011-06-17 16:28:16)
u sick man :( im gonna kill someone
Amy (2011-06-17 10:30:09)
is that guts around the trap?
mestuppoeple (2011-06-16 17:03:14)
wow im sewing
bloomis (2011-06-13 10:13:36)
cant you guys see that its not blood its strawberrys -.-'
Vessapaperimuumio (2011-06-11 05:33:56)
Once again, that is a shotgun, an autoloading Benelli. There are no "barrels" on this type of firearm; only the topmost thing is a barrel, the bottom one being the magazine. There is usually a gap between them unlike the barrels of a double shotgu
Uncogssissern (2011-06-11 00:00:34)
Click on the links below!
SA (2011-06-08 12:58:12)
Nice shottie, is that a SureFire light?
Snow Blind (2011-06-07 03:42:56)
hahahaha this one's amazing
it says it will hug the cat :p :d
wat a great hug
i must say ....... a Bone Crushing Hug
Sierra (2011-06-04 04:58:26)
I'm FREAKIN LOVING every one of your posts. HILARIOUS! I just can't stop laughing. XD
Sasha (2011-06-03 12:34:41)
So mean. I like the other posts though.
@:@lala (2011-06-02 04:28:25)
are you actually a fucking idot? no such thing as racism against whites? thats a load of bullshit by the way, of course theres such a thing as racism against whites u idiot! racism is defined as discrimination/prejudice against another human being of a d
@lala (2011-05-30 18:42:04)
hey you jizzrag, there's no such thing as racism against whites.
FUCKING PASTY ASS GHOSTS
Lala (2011-05-30 03:21:19)
@anonymous (who was replying to fuck peta):
Your comment was just as racist. No race is superior or inferior to another.
Mouren (2011-05-29 10:34:01)
Uh... awww. First one I don't feel like reading just looking at the pictures. <3 me cats.
ANON (2011-05-29 09:44:49)
I LIKE HOW THE ADVERTISEMENT UNDER THE PIC OF THE TRAP WAS FOR PETCO
anonymous (2011-05-26 03:34:12)
@fuck peta
oh so just cause we live in a place where you crackers are majority means we are less human than you
stop trying make up for your genetic inferiority you fucking racist prick
n imp (2011-05-23 04:02:29)
with tears, great work, keep up!
catcatcher (2011-05-21 00:32:55)
These traps....genius
Quartz (2011-05-18 10:15:04)
@Reply to anonymous
A Benelli does. Because that's what it is. A Benelli shotgun. And just like Shotgunner said, its the same one used in the "Disguised Weapons" prank.
Reply to anonymous (2011-05-17 23:14:01)
That definitely does not look anything like a shotgun. You experts! The barrels are WAY too big and it is straddling the side of the cages. Shotguns don't have enough room in between to do that.
fuck peta (2011-05-12 17:29:43)
Dude, this shit should be used on real animals and minorities. idk, i dont like animals or minorities.
anonymous (2011-05-12 15:23:27)
wtf
Alfred F. Jones (2011-05-11 10:54:54)
Me-OW!
Mr Cat Killer (2011-05-05 10:54:09)
Damn, this one is so funny. "gently contracts into a hugging position and comfortably hugs the cat"
ROFL
An Wiiro (2011-04-26 20:05:20)
your jokes are funny but.. i think the traps are really used on animals , that makes me a sad panda ...sad, sad panda.
1325 (2011-04-22 14:18:17)
that must have been a bigass bowl of juice he gave that kitty lmao
Shotgunner (2011-04-14 03:26:17)
Graeme, it IS a shotgun. To be exact it is a Benelli M3, which is a 12 gauge, semi auto/ pump (can be used either way), the same gun he shows a picture of in his "disguised weapons" thead. Trust me, I used to own a Benelli, I know what they look
jumanji (2011-04-06 13:51:46)
hilarious ! fuck cats
Jeremiah (2011-04-05 14:22:26)
haha. I love how the guy explains the "spill" from the last cat. "last cat I had in there spilled his bowl of juice and his cat food. It went everywhere!". Like the little guy just clummsly knocked it over. and there is still chuck of cat
Heather (2011-04-05 04:56:37)
Oh my fucking God. This is genius.
the bitch. (2011-04-05 04:27:20)
Jesus On A Stick... can I have your first born.... PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!
Superman (2011-04-03 11:27:22)
What kills me the most is: giving cats juice!
Alec (2011-04-01 05:32:16)
I don't remember the last time I laughed this hard. It hurts. I can't stop
Mark (2011-03-31 22:16:22)
Wow, your work might just be better than Stephen Hawking's theory of parallel universes or Robert J Fischer's strategic chess skills but in a different way.
Weeksy (2011-03-30 21:08:03)
Anonymous dude, scale up the last picture and you can see the shotgun on its side.
On the other hand, this shit had me in stitches. Keep it going man.
Regular Guy (2011-03-29 23:28:13)
I cried to so much the salt is stinging my eyes. Pure genius!
oetti (2011-03-29 12:11:48)
I could read these over and over and they'd still be hilarious.
anonymous (2011-03-29 01:26:42)
This was awesome. Though one comment. I have been hunting for years and there is nothing resembling a shotgun in this picture. The muffler makes more sense, keep the cage in the garage with a running car = dead kitteh.
AD (2011-03-28 21:48:21)
LOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL funnist one soo far
Anonymous (2011-03-26 21:34:05)
Guys that's obviously not a shotgun it's a tissue box
em3 (2011-03-25 11:40:35)
I wish there was some way to hold the pictures off until I get to 'em in the reading, because the presentation is fantastic! Hilarious! Thanks!
anonymous (2011-03-24 09:34:11)
Last picture -- left of cage.
Like a Boss :)
Friggin Hilarious! (2011-03-22 11:23:53)
Dude, I busted a gut on this one!!!
Ceberus (2011-03-21 22:30:43)
This troll is a god among trolls. So many lulz.
Ow my sides hurt from laughing so hard.
JonnySeriously (2011-03-21 16:19:10)
Actally, it is a shotgun. You can see the sight AND the pump. What muffler is that small...yo?!
Walrus King (2011-03-21 03:09:37)
I love this website
mike (2011-03-18 11:27:01)
funny as hell!! This site is Great.
Graeme (2011-03-15 11:32:21)
It's not a shotgun, it's a muffler, yo.
deitrik (2011-03-12 19:36:33)
I scared people at my work laughing so hard
sonoma (2011-03-09 02:58:52)
ill take one dozen.
Mike Hawk (2011-03-09 01:12:04)
I didn't notice the shotgun at first either, no wonder since it is so cleverly disguised, I thought it was a tissue box.
haha (2011-03-05 20:23:18)
@awesome Wow, i didn't even notice it was a shotgun till you pointed it out :P that makes it so much more funny.
Teresa the Filipino (2011-02-21 19:43:09)
Me eat cat long time. Me luuuvvv cat. Me try to shave pussy but it like jungle down there.
Richard Kenopic (2011-02-21 19:38:48)
Here in Renfrew, On. we eat cats all the time. They's some fine eating I tell ya!
ken (2011-02-21 19:38:01)
this is great must be from the hills of home
anonymous (2011-02-19 21:11:01)
One of the best ones hahaha! "IT OBVIOUSLY IS NOT SAFE. IT IS COVERED IN BLOOD" well you've obviously never seen a juice spill before loloololol
Me (2011-02-18 17:32:19)
this is the most idiotic thing I've ever seen in my life. lol.
Spongebob (2011-02-16 16:13:29)
Dude not even Chuck Norris could do such blood from cats... how the hell people belived that the trap could do such thing?
Princess Daffodil (2011-02-16 01:19:08)
omg, you sick bastard........
kidding.
and i don't know many people are stupid enough to think that you killed the cats.
Princess Daffodil thinks you guys are very dumb!
xoxo
Awesome. (2011-02-15 16:00:31)
Wow. The heating tube is a shotgun. LOLZ
Katrien (2011-02-14 09:50:47)
I hope that one day someone will treat you all as 'humaine' as you're treathing cats.
robert6130 (2011-02-12 13:23:34)
perfect for valentines day
robert6130 (2011-02-12 13:23:32)
perfect for valentines day
Me (2011-02-12 04:58:59)
Get one for my gf
Troll (2011-02-11 23:14:58)
I LULZ'd at all you emofags, crying over things that don't exist, reminds me of those jehova witness's i got crying at my door a few weeks ago...
Dude (2011-02-11 15:07:08)
It's hilarious how many people in the comments are dumber than the people he's harassing.
Munchi (2011-02-08 22:09:23)
Did no one read the top where it said:
Warning: The following post contains graphic images. If you are offended by the sight of food-dye, corn syrup, and ground beef, you may not want to read this.
Chip (2011-02-05 09:27:27)
Holy crap...I had tears streaming down my face and tried to hide it at work....
Austin (2011-02-03 23:28:38)
I'm so glad I came across this sight....
me (2011-02-03 13:25:34)
your all sick bitches...and I love you
idiots (2011-02-03 13:22:48)
anyone who thinks this guy actually killed a cat is retarded. if you look in the background there is what looks like a bayou. probably caught a nutria and killed that little fucker. not a cat. dipshits
Moose (2011-02-01 10:31:30)
I cried.
Spooky (2011-01-30 07:47:25)
I love Cats.....They're Delicious. Tastes like chicken.
scrockern8r (2011-01-27 11:49:44)
I believe this trap is for those who want to "have a heart." LOL! (wipe tear from eye)
DEUS (2011-01-26 16:07:14)
@Lucifer...You're a real piece of shit for perpetuating twitter format replies.
Ildar (2011-01-23 22:45:52)
[Ad]: "The Secret to Happy Cats!"
LMFAO
Sarah (2011-01-21 23:24:21)
I can't tell if some of the comments are sarcastic or not. Are there actually people here stupid enough to think these are real images of cat gore?
babygirl (2011-01-20 22:24:46)
tht is messed up how tht guy can sit there and kill kittens or full grown cats
wtf? (2011-01-19 04:46:26)
Holy crap... The comments section is about 5 times larger then the actual emails....
Bigglrt (2011-01-16 14:50:52)
To keep my neighbors from waking up due to my loud obnoxious laughing, I have to pinch my nose. Hard. I suggest you do the same.
Lucifer (2011-01-15 17:12:19)
@Jay...love the Boondock Saints reference.
Alluria (2011-01-14 09:21:02)
man, it all started with your book, it was bright and interesting, i read it all. i fucking devoured the book. now, you have another fan. i love you. awesome blood spatter. keep fucking with people you "asshole" ^.^ your biggest fan, Alluria
ajdemmi09 (2011-01-12 20:25:04)
i preffer 2 burry them then run ther heads over with a lawnmower
mmm turnip milkshake (2011-01-11 08:37:13)
i think it is funny that there is an iams cat ad at the top of this page
lol it says "new solutions to keeping cats happy and healthy"
anonymous (2011-01-10 21:09:30)
dsdsd
cum_to_daddy (2011-01-06 10:20:07)
hello cat. i wanna play a game.
runkner (2011-01-05 19:18:28)
nice
Harry (2011-01-05 16:45:12)
lol i would laugh if the gun was loaded and had a misfire and shot him.
Dirty fucking cat killer. He should go kill himself
Okay then. (2011-01-03 17:49:35)
So. You sit around all day searching for negative attention from strangers. Let me guess. Fugly unemployed virgin, much?
Country boy killer (2011-01-03 17:43:05)
seriously though, it's just a effin Country boy. One time I spotlighted a Country boy so it wouldn't move on the road while my friend ran over it. You know what I felt? A slight bump. What evolutionary path led to you thinking that other species d
juhziz (2011-01-01 07:15:03)
Im intrested in those traps, could you send me more pictures and info?
hahaha (2010-12-31 14:50:07)
lol a fucking black tube...priceless
Deb (2010-12-31 08:41:44)
What the fuck you sick fucker!I cant beleive this fuck you!!!!I HATE YOU!!
Nah im just kidding..That was funny :3
Tterb (2010-12-30 05:23:02)
Dude this is some funny shit dude,
Keep fucking with people , u have a fan base over here
Seth2000 (2010-12-29 23:34:23)
haha this is so funny. i could puke all over my self.
nice detail with the gun on pic3
nigger (2010-12-29 20:50:29)
damn dats sum gooooooood hot sauce!
gasp (2010-12-29 19:41:14)
LOOKS REAL
Earl (2010-12-28 19:09:26)
Fucking hate cats.
But they do taste good, I'll give them that.
Them blind asians got the right idea.
TheButterZone (2010-12-27 15:02:04)
LOL I was wondering how the "black tube" would pay off. The producers of CSI would critique your splatter pattern though. On top of the trap?
car moving (2010-12-23 13:22:57)
thanks for great posts
chloe (2010-12-22 22:25:05)
HAHAHHAAHH LMFAO that was hilarious! keep up the good work.. :)
Anthony (2010-12-20 02:29:17)
Fuck yes!
spoken (2010-12-19 18:46:34)
I just died... This is awesome
sarilas (2010-12-17 11:26:01)
So did anybody see the gun in the background on picture 3?
Jay (2010-12-16 22:02:38)
"I can't believe that just fuckin happened!"
"Is it dead?"
Lol (2010-12-14 17:09:24)
This is one of the best ways to fuck with people
Wait (2010-12-14 11:37:30)
A cat is a predator, I don't think spotlighting will work on a predator
Lolercakes (2010-12-13 00:52:33)
Heh, the "tube of warm air" is the business end of a shotgun
mmm, juice (2010-12-13 00:20:36)
I wonder if 'going to eat you' will have a bowl of juice for you so you don't get thirsty.
OnlySmartGuyHere (2010-12-10 17:53:11)
Youre all idiots, it's not actual cat blood, its a joke.
The Cat Hater (2010-12-10 16:28:17)
COngratiolations but u shouldnt joke about that it hurts me that u didnt really kill them i love seeing cats get injured because of what it did to my little bro he is in a coma and hasnt woke up for 6 months! a cat jumped up and hit him he fell down a fli
Country boy (2010-12-10 03:11:44)
seriously though, it's just a effin cat. One time I spotlighted a cat so it wouldn't move on the road while my friend ran over it. You know what I felt? A slight bump. What evolutionary path led to you thinking that other species deserve to be tre
Frank (2010-12-09 08:13:32)
Cool... hahaha...
is cruel by the way... treat cats or other animal nicely. I just give half of my boiled egg to a kitten this mornin
catlover69 (2010-12-09 00:02:32)
i would have used real dead cats, already dead of coarse. maybe go to the vet and get cats the were euthanized. but still funny the way he did it.
Weasel (2010-12-08 09:55:54)
WOW, best ad yet!! HAHAHAHAHAHA
cat (2010-12-08 00:55:26)
we got 9 lives, watch your back.
bohnjermawm (2010-12-07 16:44:47)
HEERO I'm Ree the asian and these jokes r heerarious
EGJ5426 (2010-12-06 22:48:25)
Shut The Fuck UP u Asswipe. u get to serious with these jokes pussy! "Going To Not Eat You"
going to not eat you (2010-12-06 12:53:17)
Sorry for that guys. He's my twin brother. He's had issues ever since he went off medication and ate our cat.
EGJ5426 (2010-12-06 01:55:21)
"Going To Eat You" does have a point tho. i love cats but this isnt real, there just jokes. dont take it serious Going To Eat You.
Kevin (2010-12-04 15:53:02)
Never muahaha I will make this entire website stink and then I will rule the world
Alima (2010-12-03 18:36:31)
ha, going to eat you is one of those weird cat people. please continue with the cat stories
Heather (2010-12-03 18:34:56)
I agree with Michael. Who comes on a site titled E-mails from an Asshole and then gets offended by the jokes? Are you lost? Or do you just lack any sense of humor?
Kevin (2010-12-02 20:47:50)
I just farted
anonymous (2010-11-28 10:39:44)
I am 4 and what is this?
Michael (2010-11-26 03:06:11)
Funny, how some people think, his jokes are for real. And this would be his stuff there. Ok, maybe it is his stuff, but I doubt it. Nevertheless, there are people on this site, that doesn't belong here. This is a site about jokes, about messing with p
Timmay (2010-11-23 23:41:31)
Lol I own catz, vegan, and still laughed.. you gotta embrace both sides to get the most outta life.
noko (2010-11-23 06:02:54)
i came
Jim (2010-11-22 08:44:59)
Genius. Pure and simple.
poot (2010-11-22 01:45:17)
lol at going to eat you
"wah wah
you used to be funny but now youre joking about killing cats so youre not funny anymore"
GNAAH (2010-11-20 23:06:35)
wow, going to eat you. You stupid...and probably a hypocrite. This is your thought process: OH NO, only cute animals deserve to live. Other animals can go shit on themselves. *gnaws on beef*
going to eat you (2010-11-19 19:58:38)
Someone should euthanize you. And your parents for not aborting you as a fetus. And all the jackoff asswipe wastes of life who liked this post.
going to eat you (2010-11-19 19:57:02)
yeah, your lame site cut off the end of my last post, and I didn't want you to miss out on it. I HOPE YOU DIE IN A HORRIBLE WAY. Fuck you very much and have a shitty day, asshole.
going to eat you (2010-11-19 19:55:04)
yup, I thought you were hilarious till I saw this one...so not amused. I have a trap to catch you. Want to come over to my house and try it out? I promise it will only hurt a lil bit. Sorry, asswipe, I draw the line at douchebags who joke about hurting ca
Zomg (2010-11-19 00:35:18)
LMAO @ black tube blowing hot air! lmao..
Ashley (2010-11-18 18:49:02)
I just laughed until I cried... This was an EPIC WIN.
juan (2010-11-18 10:06:52)
holy shit
tony (2010-11-17 05:21:01)
It's 5 am and I had to laugh into my pillow so that I wouldn't wake everyone up. Kudos to you, good sir.
Svitogumpa (2010-11-12 09:49:03)
Oh man, my stomach hurts from laughing, this is awesome.
Lenbot (2010-11-10 01:06:54)
Kitty hugger LOL, I couldn' stop laughing after that.
anonymous (2010-11-08 14:17:52)
Is that black tube one of the guns from your disguised weapons e-mail?
@BN (2010-11-08 03:52:19)
You're obviously a cat-lover. Have a damn sense of humor.
yeag (2010-11-07 22:47:54)
I like how the person added the three angry faces at the end
BN (2010-11-07 14:49:52)
This is stupid and not funny. Do people like that really have nothing better to do with their lives?
A.M.H. (2010-11-07 08:01:06)
"It is still a little messy because the last cat I had in there spilled his bowl of juice and his cat food. It went everywhere!" Lmao!!!!!!!
blueMonkey (2010-11-04 21:54:23)
I laughed so hard, that my cat got scared and farted.
PETA (2010-11-01 13:54:03)
We here at PETA condone euthanizing feral animals. Well done sir.
cconn (2010-10-31 22:19:09)
I don't think she even noticed the shotgun. And I am impressed you have a conibear, didn't figure many people knew what they were anymore.
Glen C (2010-10-28 14:13:37)
Another option is if you have a rock you want to drown you can tie a bag of kittens to it.
CCL4 (2010-10-28 13:56:33)
This. Was awesome.
Some dude (2010-10-28 10:27:55)
@M (2010-10-21 23:32:14):
Real blood isn't that bright when it pools, so don't worry. Or maybe you should worry about how I know this, since you're paranoid. Ha!
Jim (2010-10-27 14:50:19)
...so many cats, so few good recipes....
Lardinho (2010-10-27 14:11:37)
Ouch. My cheeks hurt. Laugh of the day.
M (2010-10-27 13:17:44)
Like the tube mate
Lis (2010-10-26 13:46:30)
New to this site. This is AWESOME. And I'm not American but bring on the black warming tubes ;)
M (2010-10-21 23:32:14)
Um. It says it's corn syrup and stuff, but I'm not so sure. Those photos look real. I mean, I'm sure the emails were a joke, but the pictures seem like they might have been legitimate out of context.
/paranoid
Andrew (2010-10-20 23:13:35)
Love the "black tube" part. LOL
rolls (2010-10-15 23:42:31)
man im hyperventilating after reading that
Tobi (2010-10-14 09:43:21)
I just stumbled upon this and laughed myself silly. Although, I suspect there is something seriously wrong with my psyche.
HaileySAUR (2010-10-11 12:08:29)
OhmyfuckingBUDDHA.
lmao. xD
Dead kitties.. lol.
Josh (2010-10-08 13:38:24)
One of the best ones yet
cory (2010-10-07 22:50:00)
good shit haha
F-F-F-F (2010-10-04 20:49:06)
UCKING AWESOME
more more!
Sev (2010-09-27 01:52:32)
As a cat lover, no matter how gay that makes me sound, I fucking love this. It's hilarious!
LUV3RBOY (2010-09-24 14:27:40)
I M SO INTERESTED IN THE "HAVE A HEART" TRAP PLZ!!! MY NEIGHBORS CATS COME OVER 2 MY HOUSE 2 TAKE A CRAP INFRONT OF MY LAWN AND IT PISSES ME OFF!!! TIME 2 EXTERMINATE!! ty:) 9-24-10 @ 11:24 A.M NORWALK, CA
Skunkman (2010-09-22 03:24:42)
Oh god I just saw the "black tube" I fucking gotta do this to someone...I have a friend who loves cats...she'll fucking attack me when I do this to her
wad (2010-09-17 06:50:16)
that's a double spring conibear trap.i knew it wasnt blood because,as a trapper,I have caught 100s of critters using them.Never saw blood once,The guy said they go for the bait on the trigger,and it hugs them (OMFG) Set properly it is a lethal killing
george (2010-09-16 16:18:57)
i love the cable that pulls the trigger on the shotgun when the trap is sprung. so funny.
BG (2010-09-16 14:57:35)
Hilarious
Lol (2010-09-16 04:10:35)
I love how he actually got a Havaheart cage and covered it with all that shit.
stfuwhale.com (2010-09-15 19:12:10)
This was over the top...and awesome.
alex a ndra (2010-09-14 23:43:02)
i love lolli pops
Keith W. (2010-09-14 13:54:28)
I love the Shotgun based warm air pump... LOL.. Perhaps you should have taken a picture from the top down, showing the shotgun in full detail.
Female cat (2010-09-14 07:55:28)
It was menstruating.
judy (2010-09-11 18:32:03)
one sick bastard
amir (2010-09-11 15:34:29)
dude
this is one of your best
by the way
my cat knocked over the bowl of juce
how do you clean it up?
T (2010-09-11 09:56:01)
"black tube ... used to ... to keep him warm while he waits to be released. " It took me a second. Now my dog's looking at my funny because she thinks I'm choking or something. I can't stop laughing, you a$$hole!! LOL
stonersunited.com (2010-09-10 22:56:48)
how did blood get on top of the cage, that's the real question.
anonymous (2010-09-09 20:45:30)
beauty!, love the earnest tone
Mike (2010-09-09 20:39:21)
Angle on the last pic looks sick. nice photo work, lol.
Malacoda (2010-09-09 13:02:12)
haha that was one of the funniest mail conversations i ever read
Jay (2010-09-09 02:31:22)
What the fuck?! Some of you morons must be new to the site or something. This shit is gold like all of his emails. I was reading the book at Barnes and Nobles... fucking awesome! Gonna order a copy soon.
deed (2010-09-09 02:13:56)
Wow, the comments here are no different than the ones in youtube. Fuck you all illiterate twats.
Colton (2010-09-08 16:21:14)
You know, I think the one on the top actually does look like blood sorta, but the bottom two don't.
Mark Z (2010-09-08 08:31:22)
Brian, buy the fucking book
Jesus F. Christ (2010-09-08 08:08:17)
Post a new one you fucking faggot. Do it because Jesus said so.
gayshit (2010-09-08 01:37:08)
post a new one faggot
:( (2010-09-07 20:51:26)
lame
The Dude (2010-09-07 16:23:21)
WHY THE FUCK DOES THIS SHIT TAKE MONTHS TO GET A NEW POST????
Evil Beast (2010-09-07 07:46:06)
Cats are EVIL!!!! They should all be killed :)
Krцsi (2010-09-07 02:59:31)
Margaret: People with no sense for humor beocmes serial killers. Maybe we should watch out for you?
A stranger (2010-09-07 02:50:28)
does anyone want some candy, i have some lollipops in my van?
bob (2010-09-07 01:02:53)
that is fucked up.
sdfs (2010-09-07 01:00:00)
Site Checking
matt (2010-09-06 23:35:49)
i honestly hope that shit aint real :/
Sindy (2010-09-06 23:06:19)
I just love people who say online "keep away from me". It sounds ridiculous. XD
Regular Joe (2010-09-06 13:37:14)
Please don't become a serial killer. I don't like serial killers.
Bo-oz (2010-09-06 09:52:55)
I think if you'd used the disguished shotgun from your other post, this girl would have bought it!
margaret (2010-09-06 01:21:14)
not funny... at all...people like you become serial killers. and scum in society.
HappyHateDay (2010-09-06 00:45:30)
Dumb bitch didn't notice the shotgun....this was a good one.
LOL (2010-09-05 22:31:40)
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL YOU WIN TROLL OF THE YEAR AWARD!!
Frank (2010-09-05 15:36:04)
Not funny at all this one, you should know when to stop.
Tom (2010-09-04 18:53:27)
Tom is gay.
Sarah (2010-09-04 12:49:47)
The "blood" made sick at first because it looks so real. LOL. Great post.
appreciative fan (2010-09-04 12:14:10)
this one is one the best. i love the shotgun as the black tube! it was an awesome little detail to add, just one of the reasons why this site is so brilliant. ignore all those idiots who just like to say "BLERGH U SUCK LOL" and dumb shit like that
Grumpy1 (2010-09-03 17:19:36)
Brilliant!
Frank (2010-09-03 14:08:24)
All Your Base Are Belong To Us
Contest man (2010-09-03 04:34:38)
WHAT IS UP WITH THE FRICKING CONTEST!!!!!!
xxx (2010-09-03 03:48:03)
Typical dimwitted American with shotguns and stuff.
green (2010-09-03 03:10:42)
lol did some people not notice the "black tube" in the trap pictures were the barrel of a gun.
...makes this even more hilarious
mike (2010-09-03 01:09:46)
These emails have become so boring and unfunny that the real joke is now on us.
Nizzit (2010-09-03 00:27:49)
This was a solid trolling job. It was solid.
MJD (2010-09-02 21:50:44)
Don't be disappointed from the negative comments. Most of them are from virgins who don't have a fraction of your imagination. Another great email chain with extra effort in the props. These are worth waiting for.
DONE (2010-09-02 18:52:30)
I am never coming back to this site....It is just a big let down with so long between updates.
Contest man (2010-09-02 06:32:30)
And what's up with the fricking contest that was supposed to end on April 1st, 2010?
wheelin126 (2010-09-01 23:43:07)
LMFAO!!!! kudos to the props, especially the shotgun ;) I love cats but still have a sense of humor and that was damn funny! LOVE your stuff plz post more often!!
Bagle (2010-09-01 18:06:36)
LOL...i didnt notice the shotgun. Maybe we should sumbit simliar posts to the webmaster. and let him push it. Basically...doing his job... Then maybe we can get faster updates.
Harry Scrotum (2010-09-01 15:52:49)
Post some more goddamn emails already. wtf. This thing was 2 weeks ago!
Omnom (2010-09-01 14:22:32)
Y'know. I love kitties, and hate to see them hurt. But, even so, this one was hilarious xD
Need more updates (2010-09-01 13:34:39)
Problem: need more updates
Soloution: donate more
GO GIEF MONEY
, (2010-09-01 12:16:41)
This site is starting to suck. not funny
Martin Luther King (2010-09-01 11:25:04)
I had a dream... A dream that this website was updated more than once a month.
Sandwich (2010-09-01 07:33:31)
Blaaaaaaaaarghy ok?
Tom (2010-09-01 04:53:30)
Solution: Iґm gay
Tom (2010-09-01 04:52:42)
The guy below me is gay.v
Tom (2010-09-01 03:19:24)
The guy above me is gay.^
adam (2010-09-01 02:38:40)
Freaken awesome! I hate fur balls! No nwed for them either way. I love reading ur stuff!
chesterfield (2010-08-31 19:37:23)
i especially love the shotgun on the second trap.
Hutch (2010-08-31 16:41:43)
If you did not laugh your ass off at this something is wrong with you.. Props
ad whore (2010-08-31 15:52:39)
waiting for ad2.turn.com. site takes forever to load with these ads now.
Gary (2010-08-31 07:36:44)
It's funny cos she wants humane traps but his traps kill cats.
lolz (2010-08-30 23:15:23)
HAHA. Those traps don't make animals bleed though. They just get crushed...
WOOW (2010-08-30 22:40:01)
Deb is a complete dumbass. good one.
Man (2010-08-30 17:57:22)
Who calls themselves "Slappy" anyway? But I agree, John is getting lazy. Did he go back to Ukraine with no internet or something?
Tar Heel (2010-08-30 11:01:29)
Why are we waiting a month for every new entry. This guy has gotten slack as shit.
DingusPringus (2010-08-30 03:37:17)
@Slappy: If the site sucks then why are you on it commenting you liberal pussy? Go cry in your room while you fix your make-up and listen to Muse you pole-smoking faggot Democrat!
slappy (2010-08-29 13:01:16)
this site fucking sucks. NOT FUNNY
Enormous Cock (2010-08-29 11:50:55)
Not a bad one, needs more T&A though. Love the shotgun in last pic.
Ely (2010-08-29 00:42:03)
I don't get why people get so technical over this. I thought it was pretty funny
Lucipher sucks my... (2010-08-28 15:54:53)
lol ^^
jesus (2010-08-28 09:29:20)
Put all colored people on a boat and send it back to africa, hope it sinks on the way
asmadeous (2010-08-27 19:09:53)
Lame... you can do much better. I do like the props used.
jesus (2010-08-27 18:14:52)
Black people suck
mwow (2010-08-27 11:18:12)
hilarious
AWESOMER (2010-08-26 15:41:02)
FREAKEN WORTH IT. MORE PLEASE.
anonymous (2010-08-25 19:42:23)
I read this at the library and burst out laughing.
Mr.D (2010-08-25 13:23:42)
Quite funny
ALEINS (2010-08-25 05:30:38)
I THINK EMAILSFROMANASSHOLE IS A PRETTY COOL GUY, EH TROLLZ PEOPLE AND DOESNT AFRAID OF ANYTHING.
as if a hole (2010-08-25 00:40:39)
weak dude, come on u can do better than that...
:p (2010-08-24 18:00:02)
this one was good. hadn't even seen the pics yet and already knew what the blck tube used to keep him warm was. props
Paul Crik (2010-08-24 17:56:29)
You sir, are Killin It! In the digital age of anonymity you are using the guise to show people a mirror in a whole new way, with such fabulously absurd results. That people are so caustic is proof you're needling precisely where they are as yet uncl
Roseann (2010-08-24 17:53:43)
Brilliant. And so gross lol
anonymous (2010-08-24 16:03:45)
Lame. Really Lame.
Slightly Amused (2010-08-24 12:23:22)
This one isn't funny like most of your other ones (Barter My Whore Wife,"Special" Wife) it's gross but still a bit amusing. I'll always be amused by the fact that these silly people actually respond and go tit for tat via THE INTERNET.
John Thaddeus (2010-08-23 23:44:50)
I truly enjoy how a good portion of the people who read and enjoy your emails and book are exactly like those who you are mocking.
Mr Farty (2010-08-23 19:03:11)
You are as sick as fuck. Best one ever.
Ill Itch (2010-08-23 17:58:19)
Trap while you rap
A. (2010-08-23 16:14:41)
This one is awesome. Ik LOL'd Keep up the good work!
YO DAWG (2010-08-23 11:38:56)
YO DAWG, I HEARD YOU LIKE TRAPPING CATS, SO WE PUT A CAT IN YO TRAP, SO YOU CAN TRAP WHILE YOU TRAP.
anon (2010-08-23 09:45:38)
limited comment block required this addition to my comment below: Ban a fucking liberal. Then we can truly have peace, and freedom.
anon (2010-08-23 09:42:39)
If it weren't for the close look at the red fluid, one would actually think it's real blood. It is humorous in a morbid way. Those who don't like it enough to rant like liberal twits, wanting anything that offends them banned. I say ban a fuck
OMFG (2010-08-22 08:22:33)
"It is still a little messy because the last cat I had in there spilled his bowl of juice and his cat food." HAHA You can still see the chunks of "cat food" XD
verga (2010-08-22 06:15:37)
Do you know wher i can purchase this kitty trap?
PH McDinglestein (2010-08-21 23:57:39)
"pump warm air into the cage " lololololololoolloollolololololoolloloollololololololololl
H (2010-08-21 18:16:43)
big fan... but this one is not funny :-(
how elegant (2010-08-21 17:05:51)
So worth the wait. But reward our vigilance with less spacey posts!
jfuhgwe (2010-08-21 14:14:27)
you needed to make the shotgun or as you call it black tube more visible
:D (2010-08-21 11:59:54)
this is comment #170
anonymous (2010-08-21 09:52:51)
Very nice "black tube". I don't know if she knows that it's a shotgun lol.
haha (2010-08-21 09:05:41)
Wow what a funny douchebag. lol that was totally douchy but funny still.
KM Bren (2010-08-21 00:07:03)
Dude!n I thought I was the only one who did this - but you are on an entirely differnt level. Great stuff - you are a funny MF!
AM (2010-08-20 21:23:23)
I love you can see a straw in the background of the first picture. Genius
Concerned (2010-08-20 17:16:23)
This is where I go to laugh when I'm unhappy! I hope his pranks don't ever start up an investigation. Would be a shame.
arlo (2010-08-20 08:09:49)
Hello little kitty! Meow. What's that? You say you're cold little kitty? Meow. Want a little warm air little kitty?
AutismMom (2010-08-20 01:06:34)
That is fantastic!!!! I laughed so hard! I love the "guts" in the second picture. You definitely took this one up a notch. Well done. My absolute favorite.
XD (2010-08-20 00:10:26)
This is your shining moment. Holy shit...
Negro McPhee (2010-08-19 19:17:34)
LOLOLOLOL DAMN DAWG I DUN BE LAFFIN N SHIT NIGGA YOU IS FUCKIN FUNNY YO. SINZ I BE BLACK U BE KNOWIN HOW WE H8 CATZ
headlight fluid pump (2010-08-19 15:55:18)
lmfao
geiko (2010-08-19 12:24:02)
You are losing it dude.
ur mom (2010-08-19 06:55:31)
I like the shot gun in the background of the last picture lol
zeratul (2010-08-19 04:31:44)
May I borrow the kitty hugger? I have some cats that desperately need hugging.
chimp (2010-08-19 00:10:22)
no fuck you mother fucker...haha
Sarah (2010-08-18 22:16:21)
Hahah, Juice? haha.
dearest xxx (2010-08-18 19:37:04)
fuck you.
fucktard (2010-08-18 17:37:59)
update more u sleazy scum greedy bastard
_ab (2010-08-18 16:57:02)
man they just keep gettin better and better.
Inevergiveup (2010-08-18 09:21:42)
Brilliant, shame it was only food coloring, corn syrup, and ground beef
hari (2010-08-18 08:13:23)
best best
best
hari (2010-08-18 08:13:21)
best best
best
Young Master (2010-08-18 07:01:06)
We missed you John :) Please don't go to Ukraine ever again.
Emac (2010-08-18 06:05:30)
Screw getting a code. He messes with everyone and nobody is going to be traumatized from it. Good work.
Randy (2010-08-18 04:34:55)
I laughed until I cried when I first read this, missing the shotgun in #2. Then I noticed it, and laughed until I cried again. Less breaks, more ads! Love it!
Samuel (2010-08-18 04:22:21)
Haha, you can see a shotgun in the background of the "have a heart" picture.
Good one. (2010-08-18 04:04:22)
Awesome, very creative. No wonder the update took sometime requiring all the "nice" pictures.
Jef Claes (2010-08-18 04:00:34)
Hilarious.
peedee (2010-08-17 22:02:21)
OMG I'm pissing myself
anonymous (2010-08-17 22:01:58)
omg. im pissing myself!!!!!!!
URTHEBEST (2010-08-17 21:02:22)
oh my fucking god u r awesomeo....plz dont take tis long break.....plz
abc (2010-08-17 20:52:25)
LOL at how he says "if you want to 'have a heart'" as in the cat's heart :D
Sebastard (2010-08-17 17:15:16)
John is back from Ukraine!! Yay!!
sandwich eater (2010-08-17 15:47:51)
dude, you are one funny SOB. i started reading some of these of my BB at a bar a week ago, within 10 minutes i had 15 strangers around me asking "if there were any more". Keem em coming, man.
Cat in the Trap (2010-08-17 15:26:44)
i spilled the juice cuz we kitties dont like sweet liquid.. i wanted something little salty.. umm blood.. imma vampire kitty.. so i killed the other kitty who was also caught in trap.. the trap works.. believe me .. it caught me
xxx (2010-08-17 15:08:03)
"Act like an idiot and I will find you" All your followers are plain homophobic dumb fucks. As I said before you are just trying earn street cred, you don't have a code. Get lost.
Monty (2010-08-17 15:01:30)
Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That cat is definitely deceased,
Rogue (2010-08-17 14:54:15)
I really like cats yet I really like this prank...let's face it some people can't handle a joke...especially if they are the joke...another great one...
Eh. (2010-08-17 14:39:13)
"Not funny. Not that I am offended or anything. It's just not that funny. You're slipping man. Slipping badly." I agree. Long time waiting for this that didn't even make me laugh.
umm (2010-08-17 13:33:37)
Wooooow she put "angry face" emotes lol is she 12?
Chipper (2010-08-17 13:09:28)
This is fantastic! You definitely went the extra mile on this one. Nice work, John.
anonymous (2010-08-17 11:12:06)
I must be quite sick in the head because i like that.
ANILA (2010-08-17 10:48:10)
"bowl of juice." LOL.
cathugger (2010-08-17 10:20:42)
Okay anyone who thinks this isn't funny is crazy. It's not disturbing. It made me laugh my hind end on. After all this time of waiting for a new post, I have to say I was very pleased by this one. So for all you haters with no sense of humor, quit
smirnof (2010-08-17 03:36:48)
Ok... To all the people saying he needs to get a code... its called "Emails from an asshole" so what kind of code does an asshole need to be an asshole?
Pussy Lover (2010-08-17 00:21:02)
Love the black tube! What comes out of that again? Warm air?
m,a,rk brth-in law (2010-08-16 22:15:35)
Brian, Buy the fkn book. Yes I'm talking to u.
sweetberrywine (2010-08-16 21:33:03)
So many people are butthurt about this, but it's fucking brilliant. The ones where you really go the extra mile like this are great.
Just a LIL offended (2010-08-16 20:59:15)
I love all your stuff; but IDK; I just felt like this wasn't funny..I usually bust out laughing at your stuff...this just..wasn't...that funny. A little disturbing. Just my opinion. Keep up with the other HILARIOUS stuff!! :)
suck my balls (2010-08-16 20:43:52)
My better half would not find the humor in this. I pissed myself laughing.
mark (2010-08-16 20:21:57)
*rolfcopter* man i must've sounded retarded, its just.. well grownups can say wierd things when they have a huge D!ck in thier mouth..
arlo (2010-08-16 19:43:30)
Welcome back dude. "Pumps warm air?" I guess that's why they call them heaters.
ralph (2010-08-16 17:54:09)
my cat's breath smells like cat food
AssassinMary (2010-08-16 17:37:35)
Lol awesome
Loves It (2010-08-16 17:13:42)
I love how you refer to the cats as "little guys" LOL.
Earl (2010-08-16 16:41:02)
I like how carefully placed the shotgun behind cage number 2
zebra (2010-08-16 15:22:45)
* blu-ray player "needed desperately.)
Sorry, the last part was cut off.
zebra (2010-08-16 15:22:09)
I thought the "code" was targeting persons who post stupid ads. Or maybe it just felt that way because most early on the ads were lame (asking for a good SUV free or cheap), horribly misspelled, or even just ridiculous (exchanging prayers for a &#
Ren_Partycat (2010-08-16 15:18:31)
Successful troll is successful.
I really like cats and even I found this funny. 5/5 would read again.
zebra (2010-08-16 15:17:53)
This is the first one that didn't make me laugh at all. Even the one that joked about the wood chipper and it not being your fault if the kittens "wandered too close" was better.
editrix (2010-08-16 14:31:07)
EPIC - I'm not convinced you don't make up both emails though - but people really ARE this stupid.
Def Vader (2010-08-16 14:06:22)
That's the funniest thing I've seen since a goat bit my brothers finger off!
RMR (2010-08-16 12:42:38)
"trap gently contracts into a hugging position and comfortably hugs the cat until you come back to deal with the little guy". - you are king of the setup!
The hand (2010-08-16 10:30:01)
I don't get it. What's so funny about it? Mmm is it the fact that the traps are not real, and the dumbass mark thinks they are real? Dam. That is funny. I bet he feels stupid now, thinking they are really traps. Dumbass
JUS-10 (2010-08-16 09:55:27)
HE'S BACK!!!! Sweet.
nagz (2010-08-16 09:45:35)
you did it again :)
Admiral Ackbar (2010-08-16 08:10:21)
It's a trap!
Cattrapper (2010-08-16 03:01:01)
Oh, wow, it's called the cat-hugger, and it's perfectly safe? And then you'll know he's joking, because of all the blood
FUCKyouMARK! (2010-08-16 02:25:17)
finally! been waiting patiently and checking everyday haha. good to have you back
Still Loling (2010-08-16 02:03:19)
Wow! I was lol'n of about an hour when i saw the shotgun.
smirnof (2010-08-16 01:20:17)
*shotgun... didn't notice the shotgun at first... awesome.
Smirnof (2010-08-16 01:19:51)
Ya i didn't notice the trap at first. He has a code... if you post dumb shit on the internet be prepared ;)
BluBlaDe (2010-08-16 00:44:59)
Super Duper Epic.
Man, spilling the juice thrice, that was unlucky.
To the puss 2 down (2010-08-16 00:24:44)
go fuck yourself faggot. its hilarious and i dont care what you say
anonymous (2010-08-15 22:46:11)
Holy crap. This was absolutely worth the wait.
anonymous (2010-08-15 22:27:11)
well done this is good fag
cockmonster (2010-08-15 21:42:13)
I totally enjoyed reading this while popping viagra and fucking my mom in the ass for 8 hours. The thoughts of splattered cat totally made me blow a chode avalanche in her turd vault :D
anonymous (2010-08-15 21:23:06)
Taste like chicken...
Fritz (2010-08-15 20:40:08)
Dude, don't listen to the nay-sayers! You brilliantly work your craft, and the extra time and effort you put in are greatly appreciated! You're hilarious! You're a master!
TheDude (2010-08-15 20:40:07)
Man this was too funny. All your asshole emails with Pictures in it are gold
HAHAHA (2010-08-15 20:37:33)
There's a freakin' shotgun in that last pic! xD
Paul (2010-08-15 20:18:16)
Are you still selling the hugger? I have a cat problem.
Beastman AIDS (2010-08-15 18:55:06)
and he delivers! Great stuff - i never get sick of this site
anonymous (2010-08-15 17:15:27)
Hahahahahaha!!!!!!
ROFLOLBBQ!!!
Monk (2010-08-15 16:36:19)
I lost it when i saw the shotgun lol
amir (2010-08-15 15:23:23)
dude you are awesome
I could not stop laughing
... (2010-08-15 14:47:16)
wat the?
Freek (2010-08-15 14:21:47)
Not funny... the crusher wasn't funny either.. you're slipping !!
JetBlue Flight Attnd (2010-08-15 14:07:04)
The lady that hit me with her carry on also sprung the kitty hugger trap on my head and that is how I got my head cut. Those taps hurt. Also I want my job back. Help me.
kцrv&mos (2010-08-15 13:55:57)
Muahahahaha! :-)
Randy Feltcher (2010-08-15 09:23:36)
LOL, that reminds me of the time I got confused between my favorite straw and my favorite power drill. My friend was NOT HAPPY, LOL!
Matrkzafuckinfaggot (2010-08-15 02:18:37)
Hey Mark GFY
ivan (2010-08-15 01:36:33)
hey man you should do more emails with pic attachments. it adds that little flavor to it
LOLCATZ (2010-08-15 00:59:53)
IMZ NOT LOLING
MARKSUCKS (2010-08-15 00:41:00)
Mark- shut up. This dude is really funny. If you can do better than start your own damn site. You suck Mark
anonymous (2010-08-14 22:43:45)
LOL I guess she didn't pick up on the shotgun.
Patrick Bateman (2010-08-14 21:42:29)
I believe those traps belong to me...
mozel-pops (2010-08-14 20:59:53)
LOL she didn't notice the shotgun by the cage.
Juliaaaa (2010-08-14 20:42:19)
man the pictures are sick!
love it!!!!!!!!!!! haha
Deb (2010-08-14 20:29:33)
Suck my cock
Juzi (2010-08-14 17:36:42)
It was totally worth the wait!
S (2010-08-14 17:23:00)
those 4 angry emoticon faces in the guy's last response cracked me up
Gopu (2010-08-14 16:18:38)
I almost missed the shotgun and obviously she did.
Rat Liz (2010-08-14 15:46:44)
Thank you!!! I have been on bed rest for almost a week now and this was the first thing that has made me LOL. keep them coming man. no seriously keep them coming because i have read everything in the archive and i still need a few lol's till my foot g
Captain B. Dick (2010-08-14 15:13:08)
I forgot to mention: the "4" made her deserving of all the misery in the world.
CatsLoveFruitJuice (2010-08-14 12:40:47)
Blood?? NO!!! The little guys just keep knocking over their juice bowl! SO FUNNY!!
Captain B. Dick (2010-08-14 11:50:59)
To the author: I guess the shotgun was too subtle but it's a fine balance and I guess you should err on the side of subtlety, when you'll have yourself and your audience on this site to appreciate what your victims didn't catch.
Captain B. Dick (2010-08-14 11:45:56)
To the people talking about a 'code' and people deserving it: consider that the time he is costing any one person is minimal and the emotional impact isn't there unless they do deserve it, on some level, and there is no real harm done.
To a
Trooch (2010-08-14 11:01:26)
finally a new e-mail entry!
and it's hilarious!!
Trooch (2010-08-14 11:00:43)
finally a new e-mail entry!
and it's hilarious!!
Spampy (2010-08-14 10:17:15)
What an ungrateful bitch.
d-tard (2010-08-14 09:52:27)
That is so funny, lmao!!
anonymous (2010-08-14 09:49:29)
This made me chuckle :3
Welcome back Mike!
Eggs Ackley (2010-08-14 08:56:06)
You're one sick fuck...but I like you.
Mark and XXX (2010-08-14 07:42:17)
Sorry, we are gay and had troubled childhoods. We are transexuals too.
AlexP (2010-08-14 07:37:48)
You, sir, need to quit your daytime job and commit to your scams full-time. It is just a bummer every day I check the site and see nothing new.
Ken (2010-08-14 07:35:19)
I love the shot gun in the last picture. "pumps in warm air".
Nikles (2010-08-14 06:50:37)
This is great, post more soon :)
- (2010-08-14 05:45:04)
finally , an update. looool
The Dude (2010-08-14 05:21:54)
Not funny. Not that I am offended or anything. It's just not that funny. You're slipping man. Slipping badly.
MARK (2010-08-14 05:00:23)
SO REALISTIC. VERY FUNNY
bega (2010-08-14 04:10:28)
Hilarious!!! :D
john (2010-08-14 02:23:40)
looks like something out of the saw movies!
Rob (2010-08-14 01:59:56)
My wife is gonna be pissed at you and laughing at the same time!!
dh (2010-08-14 01:44:32)
Outstanding. This is top notch. Comedy genius once again.
kish (2010-08-14 00:41:21)
I would like to order 10 of the first trap. Can I use these indoors at friend's homes with cats too? I don't see why not.
Mike is win. (2010-08-14 00:32:53)
I love this guy! Lol the kitten hugger!!! Damn the messy juice must have ruined the one in a lifetime offer!! D: why didn't he clean it! /: lol
mandingo (2010-08-13 22:41:41)
brrrrrrrillllliant!
TheGameS10 (2010-08-13 22:41:33)
Man, I wish these traps were real. Oh well, one can dream...
MosterCOCK (2010-08-13 22:33:32)
Is that a shotgun in the last pic? lol
dave (2010-08-13 22:30:54)
Mike 2012!
Troll (2010-08-13 21:17:31)
Ah, So what name would it be if I wanted to have you name my first child?
=P (2010-08-13 21:07:51)
Awesomeness! Glad I clicked your site today.
Roberto (2010-08-13 20:00:37)
LOL, YOU RULE!
Sekonda (2010-08-13 19:38:04)
Genius.
R (2010-08-13 18:46:44)
Finally! this ones pretty good
jessica (2010-08-13 18:43:07)
wow, way to disappear for a month! i check this site everyday and am disappointed every time there's nothing new.
J (2010-08-13 18:39:43)
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA i love it!!!! good one...... good one :D
Sharktopus (2010-08-13 18:20:26)
Hahaha. Good one for Friday the 13th.
J (2010-08-13 18:17:56)
hahahahahha well worth the wait. You sir are a genius.
ayman (2010-08-13 18:05:25)
Good bloody one
Mark (2010-08-13 18:04:08)
Mark Mark Mark Mark a Mark Mark Mark, Mark Mark Mark a Mark Mark Mark. Do you thik that is funy?
Probably.
Geezie (2010-08-13 17:26:01)
UBER LAWLZ!!! i effin love it! have been checking every day in anticipation of the awesomeness! :)
Brian L. (2010-08-13 17:16:43)
Here kitty kitty kitty.
pretty good (2010-08-13 17:11:09)
Looks pretty realistic I mean that would be pretty convincing if I didn't know it was corn syrup and coloring. Also I didn't know you actully used homemade props for some of the pictures.
dun can (2010-08-13 16:58:51)
Haha its funny cause it looks like blood. I'm retarded but mark is a fucking homo
hey anonymous (2010-08-13 16:57:57)
fuck you right back. Ill decide what I think is funny.
anonymous (2010-08-13 16:52:33)
Hey mark, fuck you. This is hilarious.
EricElvis (2010-08-13 16:36:36)
Pretty solid. Do you have a gentle trap that will work with some of the neighborhood kids who keep messing up my lawn?
St (2010-08-13 16:10:45)
Love it!
classic (2010-08-13 16:10:02)
one of the best old ones was the abortion one he took it down like 2 days later it was amazing pissed off so many people throw that one back up
Lenny of Lancashire (2010-08-13 16:07:27)
Genius. Tears in my eyes. It's a cruel world.
DK (2010-08-13 16:05:07)
Epic! Worth the wait! :-)
mark (2010-08-13 16:04:41)
give it up guy your just not funny Anymore
anonymous (2010-08-13 16:01:54)
Good to have you back!
a new one yaaaay (2010-08-13 16:01:22)
this was soooo fuckin funny!!!!
Nick (2010-08-13 15:37:55)
I check this website everyday at work. You said in an interview you have some old ones stored up, release them!
anonymous (2010-08-13 15:06:36)
seriously, when did this site become about people who deserve it? look at the disguised weapons guy, the babysitter girl, the horse farm girl, they didnt deserve it but it was still funny as hell
Chris (2010-08-13 15:05:53)
Oh, man! That was great! So good to have you back, bro. Patiently checking daily for updates has been graciously rewarded!
serenity (2010-08-13 15:05:29)
"Get a proper code you jerk. All she asked was a trap. You mess with everyone, you don't have a code."
*looks at site title*
"E-mails from an Asshole"
I rest my case.
TODALOU MUTHA FUCKAA (2010-08-13 15:02:42)
"It comes with a black tube at the end" LOL LOOKS LIKE THAT COULD BE A SHOTGUN WATCH OUT MEOW!!
Pamela (2010-08-13 15:01:49)
YAY you're back!
ninjaofpureevil (2010-08-13 14:56:36)
lmfao!! "the last cat i had there spilled his bowl of juice" i love the pictures.
anonymous (2010-08-13 14:52:55)
hahahahaha OMG LMAO
ivanche (2010-08-13 14:52:48)
you evil, evil man!
to the pussy below (2010-08-13 14:52:25)
You must be a cat lover and the exact person he was trying to offend.
xxx (2010-08-13 14:50:36)
Get a proper code you jerk. All she asked was a trap. You mess with everyone, you don't have a code.
Turd Ferg (2010-08-13 14:50:24)
This one is awsome. The ones with pictures are the best!
D (2010-08-13 14:46:50)
first?
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